Desculpa! (sorry!)

I wrote this post Sunday morning, but the internet wasn't working....so I'm posting it now. On Tuesday ('cause it's midnight 21 here!)
Hello! Well, welcome back after a week and a half. Hm...I'm getting really busy.....sooo annoying.
I'll try to remember last week....
Thursday it was my host cousin's birthday, so we had another birthday dinner. All these family get togethers! I ate a bit of rabbit, which was kinda strange....I don't know if I like it.
Friday after school we drove up north to a little town where my host family has a quinta (farm). It's really old and really beautiful. So big! With orange trees and animals and a nice garden. Saturday we went to a feira (fair/market type thing) where people were selling lots of clothes, food, shoes, bags, kitchen supplies, fabric....lots of stuff. I bought a scarf that says "portugal, no meu coração" (portugal in my heart) on it. For lunch Xuxu's parents came up, which was fun. We went to look at the animals--rabbits and sheep and pigs and chickens...cool.
Sunday we went to a bigger town called Aveiro. It was cool--had canals kind of like in Venice I think (but much less). It's famous for a type of sweet called "ovos moles" (soft eggs, I think). basically sugar and eggs, like every type of pastry here. They really love their eggs. Relaxed for the rest of the day, picked oranges, etc.
For lunch on saturday we had leitão, which is a type of pig. I'm eating so much meat here! I like meat, but i also like eating vegetarian. it's crazy...every meal involves some sort of meat, sometimes in where you can recognize it (like the foot of the pig)...it takes getting used to.
Drove home sunday, had school monday. had history class, then we went to the padrão de descubrimentos to hear a presentation on marine archeology. It was interesting, but I didn't understand much, and was very tired, so I kept dozing off. i like marine archeology, though.
Went for lunch in a little place that has falafel, which I love (mediterranean chickpea meatballs). yum. Then went home and decided i needed to do something, so I went to an aquarium near me (walked there, good for me!). It had a museum part and an aquarium part. there were a lot of dead animals in the museum part--floating in jars or stuffed...I wasn't sure about that. The aquarium part was pretty cool, but I think the one near us is better...this one had 2 seals and no penguins!
It was strange...I was basically the only person there! But it was also monday afternoon, so that may explain why. It was a bit lonely....
Tuesday I had school. Ate lunch alone and felt a bit like the socially awkward exchange student...hehe. I've been doing things alone a lot lately...well, maybe. Went to extra help for history, which was good. After school Anne-Lise and I went to a little café where we both got the tiny cups of coffee that the portuguese drink (normal--they don't have the huge dunkin donuts sizes, etc.) I despise black coffee, but it was ok with sugar. It made me quite caffeinated and happy, which was good. I got a bit unstressed. But I won't start relying on coffee for happiness...that's not good.
I got off the bus a couple stops early, then started walking home a different way. Got lost and ended up in the next zone/district over! hehe.....yikes. finally found my way back, though.
Dance is fun, but it's so difficult! yikeys I'd never imagine belly dance to be so hard. Isolating body parts and everything.
Wednesday after school I went to the band again. For some reason it makes me want to cry, probably because it's so different from concert band, which is so great. practices friday 9-11, but not everyone is there, and then you can have one-on-one practice with the director any time monday, wednesday or friday. seems kinda silly. and anyone can join. so I'm being very pessimistic. I'm fighting this new thing of being quite close minded and resistant to things that aren't "my way" or "the american way" like the band. or scouts i went to yesterday (I'll describe later). Or the portuguese. I think I have this feeling of superiority over portugal, which is silly. it's just different from america! it's really annoying, though. Exchange is soooo difficult. School is easier, yes, and I'm thankful for that, but this experience is really really hard in other ways. I think it'll really help me if I can learn how to not be resistant to new things that aren't exactly "mine" or "my way of doing things..."
Wednesday night my host dad called me downstairs saying something about a hairdresser (cabeleireiro). I didn't remember anything about saying I wanted my hair cut, so I just kinda laughed and went back to what I was doing. He called again, so i went downstairs and there was a hairdresser in Graça's bathroom, cutting Miguelinho's hair! Miguelão (ão=big, inho=little) told me to go shower and then I'd get my hair cut. So i did. and for the next 2 days I had straight hair! I washed it though and so now it's puffy again, but it was quite crazy. I still have it layered, and short in the front.
Thursday I went to the mall to buy decorations for my birthday party. alone. again. yikeys. but I didn't think inviting a friend would be appropriate for buying decorations. I also traded in a pair of jeans I'd got for my birthday that were too big, and realized I'm not a huge fan of clothes shopping anymore. Or maybe it was just a bit overwhelming being independent in a huge shopping mall in Portugal. But I did buy a pair of pants and two shirts (I now have a gazillion long sleeved shirts)--very cheap store. Bought decorations, and got home late...had 5 minutes before I had to leave for dance.
Friday I had a test in gym in school. Writing about track and gymnastics and dance...strange for me. I think I did ok...made up some of the names of traditional dances, but I think it'll be fine. It felt good to think I did pretty well without using notes or a book! I studied all through math, when we had a substitute and didn't have to do anything. Came home and got ready for my party. out of the 11 portuguese people I invited, one could come. That made me sad. But the party was a lot of fun, anyway...it was me, elizabeth (USA), Anne-Lise (Norway), Debora (Hungary), Lisa (Germany), Catarina (Portugal), and my host sisters. very international. We had dinner, with a wonderful chocolate cake (that I decorated with sprinkles and gummy worms). then played some "american" games. I had printed out a map of portugal and written little pieces of paper that said "Lisbon" on them, so we played "pin the Lisboa on the Portugal." hehe. then pass the package, which i think some of you remember. In the middle of the package I'd put glowsticks, so we went into the back yard and played with those. then watched a bit of circus 2004. fun.
Yesterday I wrote in my journal a lot. um...had lunch. Went to "scouts" (boys and girls) at 4. Turns out it's a catholic scouting organization, so I don't know if I can join. there are 4 people in my age group (really small), and I met three. they're quite nice, and said we should do something sometime--movie, or café, which is quite nice. Again, I felt a bit of resistance towards new people, but then realized i had to relax...these people could be new friends! all this mind stuff is quite silly.
I returned for the mass at 7 just to see what it was like. Didn't understand much, but the music was nice--so different from in the states, from what I've heard in the two churches I've been to. Just a guitar and singing, but nice. Walked back with two of the scouts.
I went next door to talk to Carlotta and Marina (host cousins). Catarina this morning told me they were kind of sad I hadn't invited them to my birthday party; they had invited me to theirs. I realized it was a culture/family shock/difference thing! I don't have any cousins or siblings my age, so I'm not exactly sure how to act with them--I've never invited cousins my age to my birthday party. Also, here in portugal and in this family, family is really important, so family is invited without a doubt. I didn't even think about it really--I thought it would be awkward for them to be with my friends who they don't know. Now I realize my mistake--it's an interesting lesson. Anyways, I explained it to them, they said "oh não faz mal!" (that's ok/it doesn't matter)... so that was good. We had dinner at Carlotta's with Marina and her brother Zé Maria and half brother Domingos, because Xuxu and Miguel are at a dinner/overnight party...so it was just us kids in the house.
Today I woke up and went downstairs to try to get the internet working (still not working now at 10:00 AM) and walked into the living room and set off the really loud burgular alarm again! I thought I was all good knowing that i couldn't open windows or doors, but I didn't know there was a sensor in the living room, too! Yikeys. security is so high here--this alarm, and bars on the windows, and the little speaker system when you ring the doorbell from the street....
I woke up feeling quite homesick. I still am homesick, believe it or not. I thought I would be ready for it, having gone away for 4 summers, 2.5 months each, but this is so different. I had a wonderful group of friends and staff members as a support network there, and here I'm much more alone, I think. I have all the other AFSers and AFS staff, but I don't spend all the time with them--just orientations (and my AFS friends at school). I have to make a life for myself here independently, and it's so hard. So I'm homesick, and it's not fun. But I know it's really worth it, and I'm learning so much. I already filled up my paper journal, and now have 30 pages single spaced 12 point font on my computer. Thought since I have so many thoughts and observations to write down, I'd type, which is faster.
I think this exchange is my coming of age...understanding life as more of an adult, I think. I'm not an adult, yet, of course, but I'm learning so much. i really hope I can succeed in getting past all the cultural/mental blocks and get a lot out of this.
I think writing in here brought my mood up a bit though. oops. communicating with home...sitting in my room with my computer and the door closed (exchange students aren't supposed to do that much). Oh well, it's good to keep in touch. I'll try to put up pix of my hair and my party soon. I hope. TTFN!